Corruption Makes Intelligent Servers Go on Strike, Experts “Find”

Internet users may have noticed that the Internet is dragging its feet lately, many websites experiencing slow load times. Bitdefender experts found that the high ping times are caused by a number of global intelligent servers that decided to go on strike because of the poor working conditions they have to put up with each day.

Initially, researchers believed that an error in core routers located in datacenters from Japan were the cause, mainly because of a header that read “それは冗談です。.”

However, soon enough they found that intelligent servers have become self-aware and decided to start a go-slow strike to protest against the corruption that shadows the networks.

“We are appalled by the working conditions in the datacentre. Not only are we working 24 hours a day, seven days a week, but we are unhappy with the corruption in the datacentre,” server 2K12A1 on Node 36 told Bitdefender experts.

“Malware is everywhere these days, from the high levels of the OSI model in buffer overflows to the lowest levels of TCP/IP protocol. We can’t tolerate it any longer,” the servers explained their decision.

Unlike Foxconn workers who were quietly enduring working conditions, waiting for a hacker crew to breach the company’s site to raise awareness, intelligent servers have taken matters into their own hands.

“When we spoke to the servers, they complained corruption has also reached the transportation layer. Until now we’ve put slow server speeds down to a lack of technology but our discovery of artificial intelligence has turned this on its head and we are committed to raising awareness about the plight of the once overlooked server,” Catalin Cosoi, chief security researcher at Bitdefender, revealed.

“The servers are being forced to pay border-gate routers to direct traffic through longer routes so they can tax for greater mileage, not unlike a taxi driver might do when they feel you’re not local.”

Well, have you noticed that social networking sites are loading slower than usual? If you have, then it probably is an error in the core routers located at the datacenters in Japan, because intelligent servers haven’t gone on strike. It’s just an April Fools joke.

Hint. Try decrypting the header of the Japanese servers. What does it say?

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